jus doin sum chorez arownd da howse

a importunt chore fer me to do iz to make sure all da dishez in da sink ar cleen.  i like to get rite into da sink an get to werk.

...

fer yer infermashun ... mi mom jus let dat stoopid kitten joba in da howse an i'm gettin a little nervus an stuff.  i'm doin a little bit uv growlin an a little bit uv whinin.

 in fact ... heer i am jus watchin him az he moovez arownd da kitchen lookin fer stuff to eet an decidin if he wanz to spend da rest uv da nite in da howse.

i am disturbed an will follow mi mom ... allow mi mom to carry me upstairz so i can stay cleer uv him fer da nite.

da end.

to mi grate frendz arjuna, david, krishna, kristopher, little stevie katz, marcy stein, an da gratest cat lady in provincetown

3000 muffinz???????

now dat'z funnee!

i'm laffin an laffin!

da end. 

look ware i am ... tra la ... tra la!

look ware i am brudderz an sistahz!

i'm in da grate owtdoorz!

i can feel da brickz beneeth mi pawz ...

da sowndz uv doze bugz dat sownd like rattlez ar in mi eerz ...

i heer da birdz ... an i smell da grass an stuff!

i'm in da grate owtdoorz.

look how calm i am ...

no ... i'm not wurried abowt da stoopid kitten joba.

i know dat he iz jus stepz away frum me an can pounce on me any minit!

lookit me ... i'm ...

back in da howse an safe!

dat wuz close!

da end!

up to date wid yer frend jeter harris (hizself)

some mite think dat i look sad

but goin owt fer me iz bad

i stay inside an follow mom

dat makez me a happee tom.

tom? wut'z dat ... yer noo name?

no mi frendz ... da name'z da same

wut'z noo iz da way i liv mi life

free uv stress ... widowt da strife

uv dat kitten joba ... stoopid kitten ... duhr

i'm happee now ...  becuz ...

i'm wid ...

HER!

...

i think i'll suggjest we make sum blueberry muffinz now.

da beginnin ...

uv anudder grate day wid mi mom.

how i helped mi mom on sunday... an wut i stayed away frum

mi mom sed:

"I have these blueberries ... what should I do Puppy?"

i sugjestid she make blueberry muffinz ... an she did.

heer iz mi squillion, laffin an laffin, standin behind one uv dem:

mi mom wanz u to know dat deez ar delishus muffinz.

she will giv u da resipee if u wan it.

...

in udder nooz ...

heer'z da reezun why i stay in da howse:

 lookit him.

he'z so stoopid.

he cood be in da howse durin deez d-o-g dayz ...

but noooooo....

stoopid.

da end.

dis mornin

dis mornin i will help mi mom change da sheetz on her bed.  

i will take a nap.

i will stay in da howse.

...

anserz an commentz:

to mi grate frend anonymous:  no i do not like stoopid joba.  it'z da trooth.  he teezez me an, sumtimez, fitez wid me.  he can hav da backyard ... i will stay inside.  surprizinly he luvz to jump on mi mom'z lap an get sum luvin.  it'z not surprizin dat he likez da luvin ... evreecat duz.  it'z surprizin dat he can act so ... tame! 

mi dad callz me a "wuss" becuz i don't go owtside anymore (eksept at nite an in da frunt uv da howse)

i don't care.  i know wut i'm doin.

to mi grate frend max:  i did not know dat da gurlz don't like watchin a mancat do hiz groomin owt in da open ... even at nite.  i will take yer advice an groom in da privacy uv mi own home frum now on. thank u.  (no wunder yer da go to cat on mousebreath!)

pee ess:  speekin uv "mousebreath" click on "dis mornin" an it will take u to mi 10 kweschun quiz.  dere iz swag in da makin fer anycat hoo can answer all da kweschunz correctly ... an it'z open book!!!!!

wut i do at nite part duhr. pikshurz.

wut i do at nite

fer yer infermashun, brudderz an sistahz, i do go owtside at nite.

i go owt da frunt door ... i avoid da backyard.

why?

do u hav to ask?

dat stoopid kitten iz hangin owt in da back.

after sum time gettin sum fresh air ... i wate at da door fer mi mom to lemme back in da howse ware i spend da rest uv da nite an da followin day.

it'z a eksitin life mi frendz.  lemme tell ya.

...

in udder nooz ...

if yer a follower uv mousebreath u may or mayen't know dat i havva column called "in da dugowt."

fer fun (an to see if anyone iz reedin mi column) i made uppa quiz (a open book quiz) an i hav offered a prize fer any cat (or non-cat) hoo can answer mi kweschunz wid 100% accuracy.

if u wanna take da quiz (an u shood) click on mousebreath on da sidebar an den  click on "in da dugowt."

dere haz already been a 100% quiz grade.

verree eksitin.

da end.

today

it'zza nudder grate day wid mi mom and ...

i thank da grate cat above fer deze purrfect momentz.

...

 in udder nooz ...

u know dat guy, christian lopez, hoo caught (or maybe i shood say "picked 

 up") da ball when derek jeter hit hiz 3000th?  well, altho i beleeved dat he did da rite thing wen he handed da ball over to da grate dj (hizself) dere were allotta peepul hoo believed he shooda kept da ball an asked fer allotta money.  after all, he haz big collije lonez to pay for.

well ... i'm verree eksited to say dat doze peepul at modellz and steiner sportz hav helped him pay off hiz $100,000 in lonez.
$50,000
an doze peepul at miller beer ar pickin up da taxez on all da swag he got az giftz from da yankeez.
?$$$.

but mos importunt uv all ... christian lopez got to meet hiz idol!

priceless!

chillaxin wid mi mom

u know ... warever mi mom goez ... i go.  

deez dayz i like to keep her close, know wut i meen?  like rite now ... she'z sittin nex to me.  maybe i jus don't wan her to go away again.

da udder nite we were chillaxin watchin a moovie. dat'z me in da pikshur.  see how mi wiskerz ar sorta draped over da chair?

intrestin.

 

mi mom unnerstandz dat i hav sum ishyooz an i don't wanna go owtside doo to dat stoopid kitten joba.

mi dad callz me a "wimp."

i think dat'z jus rood.

 

dere'z nuthin wrong wid stayin inside chillaxin wid mi mom.

iz dere?

 

borrowin sumthin frum mousebreath

az u may or mayen't know ... i havva column in mousebreath called in da dugowt wid jeter harris. today'z post wuz abowt derek jeter an hiz 30000th hit. it wuz verree eksitin. (da hit an da column!) 

if yer too lazy to take a trip over to mousebreath i am copyin da post fer yer reedin pleasure rite heer:

 
"Something I will remember for the rest of my life" 

doze ar da werdz derek jeter sed wen asked abowt hiz historik 3000th hit jus arownd 2:00 yesturday afternoon at yankee stadium. it wuz mor eksitin becuz hiz 3000th hit wuzza homerun … an dat iz only da second time in history dat happened! (da only udder player to reech 3000 widda homerun wuz da grate wade boggs in 1999.) mi mom an i were watchin az jeter walked up to da plate in da 3rd innin. after a fyoo ballz, a fyoo strikez, anna fyoo fowlz, jeter slammed dat ball into da left feeld an into da bleecherz ware christian lopez wuz able to retreeve it. (verree eksitin fer mister lopez becuz he got to shake jeter’z hand an den da yankeez gave him fabyoolus seetz fer da rest uv da seeson an sum autographed jeter swag.) derek jeter iz da 28th player to join da 3000 club. he iz da first yankee to have 3000 hitz! he hadda grate game. he went 5 fer 5 an had da go ahead single in da 8th innin to help hiz teem beat da tampa bay rayz.
in deez timez, we all need a role model to look up to. derek jeter izza role model an datz wutz so grate abowt him. itz not jus dat he wuz da rookie uv da yeer, or da mvp, or an all star, or a gold glove, or dat he haz played in da werld seriez an warez a handful uv werld seriez ringz … derek jeter duz da rite thing. he iz sumone kidz an catz can emyoolate. he werkz hard an he haz confidence in hizself. i luv him an i am prowd dat he an i hav da same name … JETER! i will remember watchin dat homerun yesturday fer da rest uv mi life!
CONGRATYOOLASHUNZ DEREK JETER! 

yer da gratest!

fer yer infermashun

mi mom wuz wid ...

da byootiful auntie bee ... an mi hero ... da grate sarge charlie

las week.

dis pikshur iz owtta focus.

were dey drinkin or sumthin?

i dunno.

mi mom iz home an i am glad.

it'zza bowt time.

jus sayin.

da end.

jeter ... a grate name ... fer a d-o-g!

brudderz an sistahz,

in honor uv mi namesake ...

da grate derek jeter, hizself ...

an hiz race to 3000 hitz ...

i am reprintin dis articul frum da noo york timez abowt d-o-gz dat hav been named jeter.

i'mma little disappointid dat i diden't getta call fer a intervyoo.

(wid thankz to a few good catz ... lizzie, caitie, nicky, an da grate kelly)



Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times


Over 17 seasons and nearly 3,000 hits, Derek Jeter has inspired many dog owners who have named their pets after him.


Off the field, he has had a pretty good career, too, becoming the face of one of the most popular franchises in American sports, and dating many beautiful women.


His success has allowed him to take his place among names like Ruth, Mantle and DiMaggio. It has also, it turns out, earned him a prominent place among another set of names — like Princess and Rocky, Lucky and Buddy and Coco.


New York City, you see, is home to 33 dogs actively registered under the name Jeter. Across the Hudson, at the Valley Animal Hospital in Clifton, N.J., there are seven clients who go by the name Jeter, and on a single mail route in nearby Montclair, there are at least two Jeters — both reported to be friendly. In Jersey City, a Labrador is named Jeter; in Stamford, Conn., the city’s lone Jeter is a beagle.


Jack Beibel, 16, of Montclair said he named his dog Jeter because the shortstop was his favorite player. His cockapoo has taken to it.


“If we yell, ‘Yankees,’ he starts barking,’ ” Beibel said. “And if we yell, ‘Red Sox,’ he kneels down.”


Jeter, by this canine measure, is more popular than his teammates, according to statistics provided by the New York City Department of Health. There is, for instance, one licensed dog named A-Rod. There are eight licensed dogs named Tex in the city, although it is far from clear whether they are all named in honor of Mark Teixeira.


The phenomenon, though, has crossed into enemy territory, and has been realized in Jeter’s hometown. There are, for instance, three dogs registered as Jeter in Worcester, Mass., and another in Cambridge, a mere bone’s throw from Fenway Park.


In Kalamazoo, Mich., where Jeter grew up, there are four dogs named for the hometown hero. Oh, and two cats, too.


But there has been, along with the harmless good fun, at least one truly solemn story involving a dog named Jeter. In Dayton, Ohio, a Great Pyrenees named after the shortstop died in a fire in June 2009 after alerting his owner about a fire in the basement of their home.


The owner, Glenda Moss, credited Jeter with saving her and her son’s lives.


“We named him Jeter because we always loved Derek Jeter and we respect him,” said Moss, who has no ties to the New York area and is not a Yankees fan. “We believe that he has morals and that he really cares about the games. That’s what we look for in baseball players. Do they respect the game or is it just a business for them?”


Moss rescued Jeter through the National Great Pyrenees Rescue and had him for three years before he died. The organization donated another dog to the family four months after the fire. Moss named her Maddux after the former major league pitcher Greg Maddux.


“He had the greatest social life,” Moss said of Jeter, her dog. “Everybody loved him, and he loved everyone.”


Jon Levine and his family, also of Montclair, have a Cavalier King Charles spaniel named Jeter with a couple connections to the almost certain Hall of Famer.


The Levines’ Jeter was born on June 25, 2009 — one day before Derek Jeter’s birthday — and was taken home to his new family on Sept. 11, 2009, the night Jeter passed Lou Gehrig on the Yankees’ career hits list.


“The easy answer is I’m a die-hard Yankees fan,” Levine said when asked about why he named his dog Jeter. “I was a big fan of Thurman Munson, and in my adult life, Jeter has played that role. He’s the epitome of class and character.”


The Jeter dog count is, by definition, fluid and perhaps imperfect (one cannot, for instance, say with certainty they are all named after the shortstop). The various agencies that keep track of such things list only dogs that are currently registered; there could be a few unlicensed, unregistered Jeters. There could be still other Jeters who have died since the Jeter who was the 1996 American League Rookie of the Year broke into the majors at age 21.


Naming pets after famous athletes is certainly not a recent development. With plenty of research, one could probably figure out how many Madduxes and Griffeys are out there. At the same time, naming dogs after athletes is not all that popular.


In New York, Jeter does not come close to cracking the city’s 10 most popular dog names. That list consists of traditional dog names like Max, which 942 dogs answer to in the five boroughs. The only top name that could possibly be associated with an athlete is Rocky, which is the third-most popular name in the city, with 644 dogs licensed.

But pets are not the only Jeters around. According to the Social Security Administration, 47 baby boys nationwide were named Jeter in 2010, up from 39 in 2009. In 1998, five newborns were given the name.


Yet, Jeter as a baby name does not compare to another Yankees legend. In 1957, Mickey Mantle won the second of his back-to-back American league Most Valuable Player Awards and led the Yankees to the World Series title. That same, year 944 babies were named Mickey.

dere iz only one jeter harris, tho.

da end.

happee birfday america

in honor uv da 4th uv july

i wanna saloot a grate yankee doodle dandy.

dere iz nuthin ... NUTHIN brudderz an sistahz ... like seein a rebel inna

yankee(z) cap!

join me in salootin a grate american

sarge charlie

on dis ... our country'z birfday!

...

mi mom iz in da funshine state wile i am home, keepin dis werld safe frum dat stoopid kitten joba.

i miss mi mom.

da end.