skaredy cat

ok brudderz an sistahz ...

u can call me a skaredy cat ...

a big fat baby.

it'z troo mi frendz.

i'll tell u why.

az soon az i go owt into da grate owtdoorz i smell dis awful smell ... dis stoopid kitten smell.  it'z evreeware!  so ... i get skared.  mi eerz ar goin all over da place lissenin fer stoopid kitten. mi eyez get all skared an stuff lookin fer stoopid kitten.  mi fur iz sorta unkempt becuz it'z gettin ready to stand on end if i see dat stoopid kitten joba.

so ... i go owtside wid mi mom ... an only wid mi mom.

if she goez inside ... i'm rite behind her.

dis iz sumwut crazy since all mi life i hav luved da grate owtdoorz.  now i luv da cownterz an da sink an da window sill an da aircondishuner.

go figyer.

i wish i wuz brave like mi brudder matsui ... or i wish i cood let dis jus roll off mi back like mi brudder mickey.

but i can't.

so ... u can call me skaredy cat if u want ... but az long az dat stoopid kitten joba leevez me alone ... i will do wut i hav to do.

da end.

(so now i'mma slacker and a skaredy cat ... wut do u say to dat sarge?)

slack-er

webster'z dikshunary definez "slacker" az followz:

slacker (noun)

1-a person who shirks work or obligation; especially: one who evades military service in time of war

2-a person and especially a young person who is perceived to be disaffected, apathetic, cynical, or lacking ambition.

 duhr... sir.

mousebreath

well ... it'z offishul.  i am a sportz reporter fer mousebreath!

if u wanna take a look ... click on da mousebreath badge jus above da pikshur uv mi bes frend sarge charlie on mi rite sidebar.

look fer "in da dugowt wid jeter harris" an reed a verree comprehensive sportz report! (wut'z "comprehensive?")

u can reed lotzza udder articlez, too.

i'm verre prowd an honored to be associated wid dis fabyoolus magazine.

da end beginnin.

jus a little d-o-g humor!

Why Dogs Can’t Use Computers

1. He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
2. SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
3. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
4. Three words: carpal paw syndrome.
5. Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he’s browsing www.purina.com instead of working.
6. The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
7. He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears “You’ve Got Mail”.
8. It’s too messy to “mark” every Web site he visits.
9. The FETCH command isn’t available on all platforms.
10. He can’t stick his head out of Windows.

happee may da first

brudderz an sistahz ...

ittza BYOOTIFUL day ...

i wuz owtside havin sum fun ... rollin in da stuff on da patio ... wen mi mom took dis pikshur.  notice mi left paw ... i wuz tellin her to go away.

...

i want u to know dat mousebreath (mousebreath.com) haz taken off.

itzza reallee grate magazine fer cat luverz.  i hope dat u take a look.

i wuz watchin a video uv da catz on cat island in japan.

it'z verree intrestin an i think u shood watch it yerself.

soon i will be contribyootin to mousebreath miself.

i hope u will reed "in da dugout wid jeter harris." (i'm not sure dat it'z spelled like dat ... but u get da pikshur.) 

...
brudderz an sistahz ...
i'm verree eksited to tell u dat mi first article iz on mousebreath!
pleez click heer (http://mousebreath.com/2011/05/01/interdoosing-in-da-dugout-wid-jeter-harris/) an take a look!