later dat day ...

frum dis vantidge point ...

da pa-tee-o lookz like crap.

oh man ...

da food lady iz gointa havva  field day wid dis one!

thingz ar lookin cleen on thursday

will u look at dis grout!

why ... it'z az cleen an sparklin az daisy'z.

kevin frum sir grout musta been heer!

it'z jus in time fer a vizit frum da food lady ...

u know ... da one hoo inspectz mi floor.

joba better be wipin hiz pawz befor walkin on dis thing uv byooty! 
(da floor not da food lady ... duhr.)

fer ab

wile mi mom wuz on her walk today, i wuz home thinkin abowt sumthin.

i wuz thinkin abowt ritin a poem.

dis poem is fer auntie bee but yer welcome to reed it.

yesturday auntie bee bot sum purple pantz ... i thot it wood be funny to tell her i bot purple pantz, too ... so dis iz abowt da purple pantz:

purple pantz

auntie bee, dere'z not a chance

dat i wood ware sum purple pantz.

u know dat i do not ware clothez ...

so i won't ware a pair uv doze.

mi name'z not daisy an not skeezy

so mi anser iz sumwut easy ...

i won't ware pantz not red or blu

not even purple ... not fer u.

but u can ware dem, an i bet

yer da mos byootiful in dem yet.

but i wood laff an do a dance ...

if i saw joba in purple pantz.

da end.

by jeter harris, hizself

mi brudder matsui

look verree carefullee at dis pikshur.

dat'z mi brudder matsui ... an dat'z hiz big, fluffee tail.

dat'z yerz troolee to da left uv mi brudder.  notice, pleez, how matsui'z tail iz draped over mi back.

duhr.

he duz dis all da time, bless hiz hart.

it'z disturbin.

da end.

...

in udder  nooz, speekin uv matsui, he wuz onna walkabowt until tonite.  mi mom wuz wurried.  not me, tho.  i knew he'd be home.

how did i know?

becuz he wantz to continyoo to disturb me wid dat stoopid tail over mi back trick dat he duz.

jus sayin.

i'm reddee fer mi close-up mr. demille

it'zza byootiful day in dis nayberhood ... so mi mom wuz runnin arownd wid her camera ... an i sed  "wut da heck" an let her get a shot or two uv mi hansumness.  (we don't know how much longer i'll havva scar-free face.  u know how i like to get a scratch or two!)

 wut abowt dis one?  i think it capsherz mi sensitiv side.

but mi favrit iz dis one ...

i sorta hav dat clark gable kinda swagger ...
...
in udder nooz:
i think da reezun why i don't like dat kitten joba iz dat mi meow iz higher dan hiz.  he haz a verree deep an mascyoolin meow an it disturbz me.
he'z sorta da orson welles to mi tom cruise.
jus sayin.

will wunderz never seece?

dat kitten joba jus rubbed up against me.

we were both so surprized ... we jus stood dere.

den he sed: "sorry" an mooved on.

duhr.

i diden't even growl at him.

wut'z goin on heer?

it'z not da heet, it'z da hyoomidity

arrrgggghhhhh!

it'z so muggy!

i meen it'z only 86 degreez ... but da hyoomidity makez it feel like 110!

an i jus can't find da rite spot fer miself!

wut'z dat matsui?

dat pozishun makez u feel cooler?

i'll try it.

yessiree bruddez an sistahz!

matsui iz rite!

sumtimez da kidz hav all da anserz!

da winner uv da yankeez toaster ...

sum time ago, u may or mayen't remember dat i hadda drawin fer a yankeez toaster.  it wuz $5 a chance an da proceedz went to susan g. komen fer da cure in support uv mi mom hooz's doin a 60 mile walk in 3 dayz.

dere were many entreez ... but only one cood win.

mi sistah pulled da winnin ticket ... but lotzza stuff happened an i wuzzen't able to get a pikishur uv da lucky winner wid her toaster.

today i got mi pikshur an heer it iz:

dat'z rite brudderz an sistahz.  da winner izza D-O-G!

da d-o-g'z name iz roxie ... an she'zza byooty!

so congratyoolashunz roxie an i hope u like yer toast widda big NY in da middle

later dat day ...

do u know hoo dis yankees fan iz, brudderz an sistahz?

no ... it'z not me, jeter harris, hizself.

it'z ikaika mi furst frend on da catster an one uv mi bes frendz in da werld!

altho 'kaika duz NOT havva blog (duhr mrs. 'kaika!) ... he makez hiz way arownd da blogosphere an iz espeshulee grate in findin "chey" all da time!

well frendz ... today iz 'kaika'z birfday ... so pleez say a harty "happee birfday to u ikaika williams!"

an lemme be da furst to do dat:

happee birfday to u ikaika williams!

a secret ... anna sad farewell

dis mornin i invitid mi nayber "colorz" over fer a drink.  we hav been nayberz fer sum time an he'zza plezent sort uv guy.

anyhoo ... i havva secret dat i'm  gointa tell u ... becuz i know i can trust u.

"colorz" name izzen't colorz at all.

hiz name iz "marijuana."

da kidz in hiz howse named him dat ... but diden't tell dere parentz ...

dat'z da secret.

i'll try to come up wid sumthin better nex time.

da end.

...

i am verree sad to report dat da byootiful mercedes (mercy), sistah uv mi bes frend reebok da grate, wuz helped to da bridge.  i know dat dis wuz verree difficult fer reeb, nike, an da rest uv hiz familee.  reeb, if yer reedin dis, i luv u an yer mom, jan.  i hope dat mercy meetz mi brudder whitey hoo iz waitin fer her... i heer dat at da bridge evree cat becomez a kitten an iz healthy an happy! i know dat'z da trooth.

Wut da?

brudderz an sistahz ... wile i'm tryin to relax in da backyard ... mi mom iz owt an abowt vizitin wid her frend... an look wut she brot me ...

pikshurz uv ...

da werld famus raypod hizself ... and

hiz byootiful sistah, mochy. vavava voom!

an lookit doze eerz!  da better to heer u wid!

mi mom reeked uv udder cat ... but it'z ok becuz dey are da gratest!

(an yes, mouse an coco were dere, too, but sadly ... no pikshurz!  nex time!)

wut'z today? wednesday? one werd ...

upsidedown

...

iz dat jus one werd?  i dunno.  it lookz a little long.

i wuz relaxin in da chair wen mi mom started takin pikshurz ... an i wuzzen't budgin brudderz an sistahz.  den ... she standz over me an sez:

"Puppy ... look here!"

duhr!  she tricked me!

well, i havta say ... da rezultz ar astonishin.

doncha think?

i'm jus sayin.

fer sarge (dis post iz "x-rated" an not fer young children)

da mos eksitin thing abowt mi ballz ... iz dat u can remoov da fether topz.  now ... wen u rmoov da fether topz frum da ballz ... yer left wid dis.

sarge, sir.  duz dis remind u uv anythin?

jus wunderin.

brudderz an sistahz ... it'zza toy.  pleez don't be offended.

...

in udder nooz ... mi mom an dad left us to go to a place on da very tip uv lon guyland called "montauk."  now i don't wanna say anythin ... but dey came home smellin a little weird.

cood it be becuz dey were spendin dere time wid dis?

intrestin.

playin wid mi ballz

ah ... heer ar da ballz ab an sarge sent me.  can u see da pikshur uv da model cat playin wid hiz ballz?  it'zza joba look-alike! duhr.

deez ballz ar mi ballz ... an even if it'z recommended dat a orinje cat play wid dem ... dey ar mine!

an only i, jeter harris, hizself, can play wid mi ballz.

da end!

unless yer name iz laffin an laffin ...

den u can play wid mi ballz.

or u cood yooz dem azza toopay!

now it'z da end.

later dat day ...

u know brudderz an sistahz ... i cooden't stay mad at mi mom fer long ... espeshullee since she had sum eksitin stuff fer me.  she took owt mi "king of cats" speshul dish frum mi grate frend jj (i meen joanne) an den she opened a can uv fancy feast darling (grilled tuna feast in gravy) jus fer me only. she sed da followin:

Jeter, puppy, this is for you from Auntie Bee and Sarge Charlie.  Isn't that so very nice of them to think of you?

i stopped eetin fer a second to say:

 reelee?  dey ar da gratest!

an den i continyood to eet an eet an eet until ...

mi king of cats dish wuz almos 100% cleen!

i wuz lickin mi chopz!  wutta treet!  

i luv u ab ... i luv u sir.  dis wuzza speshul surprize fer me.  it wuz almos az grate az bein able to see u in purrson. (bless yer hartz!)

in da backgrownd u see a set uv ballz ... anudder surprize frum ab an sarge.

dey ar "flutter ballz" an i will play wid mi ballz tomorrow!

da end fer now.

lookit hoo'z back!

well ... well ... lookit wut da cat dragged in.

i'm gointa giv mi mom da cold sholeder.

i'm not gointa let her know how much i missed her ...

i'll wash mi pawz ...

lalalalala...

or maybe i'll do sum deep cleenin ...

but i won't let her know dat i've been watin fer her to come home ...

i'll even watch mi brudder matsui show off fer her.

but, fer now, i'm gointa make mi mom pay fer leevin me fer a week.

i'll giv her a little time to feel guilty ... den i'll be nice.

(i am ankshus to heer all abowt ab an sarge charlie an jj.)

mi mom'z in da funshine state ... but i jus wanned to fill u in on sumthin

wut u jus saw wuzza byootiful portrit uv yerz troolee dezined an paintid (an beeded an stuff) by mi bes frend ... da food lady.

u may or mayen't know dat she iz doin da brest cancer 3-day walk wid mi mom an max'z mom in october in san fransisko.

she made dis byootiful portrit fer mi mom fer her resint birfday.

if u klik on "da food lady" it will take u to skeezy'z blog ware u can take a chance to win a portrit jus az byootiful az mine ... fer u!

now ... it'z notta yankee toaster (which i still hav to prezent to da winner wen mi mom getz home frum da funshine state) but it'z GRATE!

take a chance or two or three or ten or a squillion! u will be supporting da food lady az she walkz 60 milez to end brest cancer ... an dat'zza good thing.

(hurry an do dis becuz da drawin will be made on mi gram'z birfday ... july 5th!)

pee ess--max'z mom iz havin sum eksitin rafflez, too!  klik on "max'z mom" to see wut'z up dere.

life'z grate brudderz an sistahz!

...

in udder nooz ... dr. landefeld reportz dat mi brudder mickey haz hyperthyroid an now (when mi mom getz home frum da FS) haz to take medz.