d-o-g an mi stinky brudder whitey

u may or mayen't know dat evree time mi mom goez to provincetown she bringz home a pikshur uvva d-o-g.

dis yeer she met dis one at carnival.

he'z sum kinda italian d-o-g.

fer sum reezon ... provincetown peepul like d-o-gz more dan catz.

go figyer.

...

in udder nooz ... mi mom spent much uv today tryin to take mi brudder whitey'z stink owtta da basement.

he sure missed her wile she wuz gone.

i say ... "say it don't spray it!"

duhr.

at long last ... mi mom iz home.

well well well ... lookit wut da cat dragged in ...

mi mom.

i hadta fill her in on all da stuff dat went on fer da las 10 dayz wile she wuz gone ...

like da fact dat mi brudder mike diden't mash mi food properlee ... an he fergot to water sum uv da plantz until mi mom called to remind him.

i also hadta tell her dat mi brudder whitey pooped an peed in da basement ... an not in da litter box.

finallee i hadta tell her how much i missed her (dat one wuz ok ... da udder two ... not so much.)

i allowed mi dad to take da pikshur uv mi mom an me ... notice how she'z tryin to get me to look in da camera. harharhar ... no way!

i'm followin her arownd all over da place ... i don't want her to leeve again fer sum time.

da end.

enuff iz enuff

i don't wanna make a big deel owtta dis but ...

izzen't it time fer mi mom to come home?

mi brudder mike izzen't espeshullee good at mashin food.

jus sayin.

tuesday ... mi favrit wite rabbit

well ... i told u abowt dat bunny yesturday ...

so i'm gointa show u a funny bunny today ...

look close ... da pikshur iz small ...

az u will agree ... dis bunny makez evreeone laff an laff!

it'z mi brudder mickey inna bunny soot.

no need to tell a joke.

da end.

wut mi mom wore to da metz game ... an anudder storree

fer yer vyooin pleshur ... dis iz wut skeezy told mi mom to ware to da metz game saturday.

no ... duhr ... not da french fry ... da skeezy cap!

dat'z ray-pod'z mom nex to her ... but i diden't get permishun to put her pikshur on mi blog.

...

in udder nooz ...

i don't havva pikshur to show u, but sumthin verree eksitin happened yesturday.

mi mom had jus come back frum her walk an it wuz verree hot ... so she wuz collapsed on da chaise longue (i looked up da spellin uv dat werd ...) an suddenly ... up on da wall ... mi brudder matsui appeered ... makin sum noise an carryin sumthin in hiz mowth. mom an i turned hiz way an watched (mom in horror an me in eksitement) az he jumped off da wall an carried dis little bunny to da patee-oh. he dropped da bunny an proceeded to laff an laff. i went to take a closer look an mi brudder sed "go ahead brudder ... it'z all yerz!" so i took da bunny (hoo had seen better dayz thankz to mi brudder matsui) in mi mowth to da naybor'z yard ... an spent sum time wid it under da bushez. mi mom, uv course, came lookin fer me sayin: "Jeter ... leave that poor bunny alone! Oh my God ... Oh my God." but i jus spent more time wid it.

i won't tell u wut i did becuz den mi mom will know an i wan to keep it a secret frum her.

but it wuz verree eksitin fer me.

da end.

consultin skeezy fer fashun advice

ok ... i know i'm talkin to a card an not da reel thing ...

but skeez ...

wut do u think mi mom shood ware to da met'z game today?

dey ar playin san francisco ... an sum peeple watchin in da grate state uv california mite even know u.

wut skeez?

reelee?

i will tell her.

thank u.

havin sum fun on friday

izzen't it fun to be uncooperativ?

it givez me sumthin to laff abowt!

sorry mom.

thursday 13

i haven't dun a thursday 13 in sum time.

yer commentz make me laff an laff.

so i decided dat i wood post 13 uv mi favrit recint commentz frum u, mi brudderz an sistahz ...

an heer dey ar ...

lookit me smilin!

"The only thing I can grow on my chin is aknee"--skeezix da cat

"Is Mike in the Village People? Just askin."--Pablo (dis made me laff a lot!)

"Git a MAC Dood!"--K + S

"You should be on a comedy circuit Jeter, you crack me up, duhr."--Sarge Charlie

da nex commentz ar abowt mi noo/old byootiful floor

"That's the sparklingest, whitest grout I have ever seen."--Daisy (wutta compliment)

"kevin did a grate job. What's a kevin?"--auntie bee (har! ab iz beginnin to sownd like me!)

da nex commentz ar abowt dat time i ate off da same plate az dat kitten joba

"It's amazing who you will tolerate when food is involved."--Cory (yer rite!)

"I think I'm gonna pass out"--Cal

"Gasp!"--Parker

"Dood!!! WTF??!?!?!?!"--Max

da nex commentz ar abowt mi joke tellin.

"I love a cat who knows how to laugh"--Reese =^..^=

"I needed a good dawg joke to cheer me up."--Titus (mi favrit d-o-g hoo musta jus eetin sumthin he shooden't uv!)

an mi favrit ...

"Jeter, I have more amusement at your reaction to your own jokes."--Sweet Praline

wut? i missed tuesday? duhr!

i told da followin joke to mi brudderz yesturday:

nock ... nock ...
hoo'z dere?
pencil.
pencil hoo?
pencil fall down if u don't havva belt.

mi brudder mickey wuz rollin on da floor laffin an laffin.

mi brudder whitey ...

not so much.

(he haz no sense uv hyoomer. duhr.)

...

don't tell mi brudder mike dat i put dis pikshur on mi blog. mi brudderz k + s wanned to see a pikshur uv him.

dis one makez me laff an laff.

he likez to grow thingz on hiz face an den he likez to shave dem off.

mi mom sez dat he lookz like a "convict" in dis pikshur.

wutt'zza "convict?"

jus in case yer wunderin wut i hav been up to ...

i luv wen mi brudder mike makez hizself a tuna fish sammich.

it meenz tuna juice fer yerz troolee!

an yesturday i got service wile i wuz restin on top uv da weber!

nope brudderz an sistahz ...
nuthin beetz a grate bowl uv tuna juice wile sittin on top uv da weber.
nuthin.

in udder nooz ... da noo york yankeez swept da boston red sox. it wuz verree eksitin!

innernet

az if uplodin an downlodin wuzzen't trubbel enuff ...

i diden't hav da innernet fer 2 dayz.

dat'z rite brudderz an sistahz ...

2 dayz.

so ...

i played sum more wid da grate mowsie dat auntie bee an sarge sent me.

an it wuz grate.

i'm back.

nappin onna wednesday mornin

downlode ... uplode ...

problumz wid gettin mi pikshurz on mi compyooter iz makin me egzawsted.

an so ...

i nap.

da end.

tuesday

duhr.

wut da?

wen i terned on mi compyooter jus now ... i noticed sum nooz story abowt d-o-gz bein smarter dan catz

uv corse mi speekerz aren't workin so i can't heer it ...

however ... i havva response to da sugjeschun dat d-o-gz are smarter dan catz ...

dere!