monkey bizness

u may or mayen't remember dat i havva munkey ...

so u can imajin mi intrest wen i saw da artikul "my monkey, my self" in da noo york timez yesturday.

i wuz reedin da followin:

"(higgins) slept with the couple, often awakening bob in the morning by climbing to the bedroom rafters and dropping onto bob's stomach. on one occasion, they got in a wrestling match, and higgins put one of his 'steel-like fingernails' through bob's ...."

oh mi d-o-g!

i can't continyoo.

but if u wood like to reed more abowt dis monkey bizness ... click heer

verree disturbin.

an speekin uv disturbin ... fer doze uv u hoo missed joba'z poop ... well ... u shood vizit mor offin. u never know wut u will miss heer!

watin fer da scoop on da poop

well ... da poop iz in da handz uv da grate dr. landefeld ... (eeewww)

an da rezultz shood be in soon.

da followin ar sum uv mi favrit responsez to joba'z poop pikshur yersurday:

"tres chic"--titus

"did you refrigerate it?"--cal (yuck cal! no.)

"maybe you'll like joba better when he's not a parasite"--laura (har!)

"no biggie" (chey)

"(mom) happened to haf da baggie on hand ... and ..."--zippy, sadie,speedy" (eeewww ... dis wuz too grafik ...i can't finish copyin it!)

"that poop looks like crap"--mi brudderz k + s (laffin an laffin)

"yuck-o"--daisy

"holy poop"--junior

"poop happens"--derby

"i'll go aginst joba in a stinkbom kontest anytime"--skeezix da cat (har!)

an da longest eeww goez to mi grate frend sarge charlie hoo sed"

"eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww'z"

a fyoo werdz fer joba on wednesday

da followin may be sumwut disturbin fer sum ...

don't wurry kid.

da grate dr. landefeld iz on yer case ...

an she will werk on solvin it today!

da pikshur haz been deleted ... a duzen eeewwwz seemed to be enuff!

da grate sarge charlie had da longest eeeewwww.

intrestin.

i will deleet dis pikshur wen i get da rite amownt uv "eeewwwww"z

harharhar!

da tuesday harharhar!

a cat walkz into a bar an sez ...

keep 'em comin, and put it on mi tabby!

harharhar!

mi brudder mickey'z not so modest monday

observe if u will ... mi hansum brudder mickey.

don't swoon marilyn ...

wen he did dis i wuz laffin an laffin!

duhr mick ... hav sum decorum!

(wut'z decorum?)

now ... ware duz it say in dis book dat max iz da gratest dood ever ....

i amma winner.
i'm so eksited!
thankz max!

da sunday scoop on dat kitten joba an hiz trip to da grate dr. landefeld

i felt a little bad fer dat kitten joba yesturday.

he wuz carryin on sumthin fierce wen mi mom, mi dad, an mi brudder mike were tryin to get him in da carrier to take him to see dr. landefeld.

he smashed sum plantz ... an broke a fyoo potz in hiz attempt to stay away frum dem all ... but he finallee gave up ... an off he went to da v-e-t!

lookit him ... wutta pathetic site ...

well ...

dr. landefeld sed dat he mite havva parasite or sumthin an she needz dat poop sampul ... an it hazta be fresh.

hmmm.

meenwile...mi mom sed dat he wuz a sweet boy at da

v-e-t ... an dr. landefeld likez him a lot.

he lookz so sad ... i almos feel sorree for him.

not.

a nap disturbed...or dat kitten joba'z trip to da fabyoolus dr. landefeld

i wuz restin an relaxin on da bed upstarez wen i wuz awakened by sum skreemin an carryin on downstarez ...

it wuz joba.

mi mom wuz tryin to catch him to take him to see da grate dr. landefeld herself!

hey joba ... will u keep it down to a dull roar.

i'm tryin to catch a nap up heer.

duhr ...

dat kitten joba.

he'z owtta control.

da end ...

update: mi mom spoke to da byootiful dr. landefeld an she sed dat it wood be a good thing if mi mom cood get a poop sampul frum dat kitten joba. thank u fer all yer advice on wut a 3rd eyelid iz. in da meentime ... dat kitten joba seemz to be in a verree good mood ... i won't be verree happee if he haz da wermz. duhr.

...

...
da end uv mi mom'z vakashun week!
harharhar!
but reelee brudderz an sistahz ...
i hav lerned a importunt lesson dis week wile mi mom haz been home ...

i lerned dat dere iz no place like home ... an i shood be happee dat i hav it dis good ...
even wid ....

dat kitten joba livin in dis howse.
(hey ... wut'z da deel wid hiz eyez?)

just a little ball uv yarn can provide hourz uv fun

mi grate brudder mickey mantle fownd dis little toy today.

he wuz playin an playin an i wuz laffin an laffin.

wen he wuz finished i decided to havva sniff miself.

i played wid it fer sum time ... an mi brudder watched an laffed an laffed hizself.

fun.
da end.

lookin owt da window onna wednesday

so ... uh ... wuddya think?

reflekshun

can u see mi reflekshun in da mirror?

i like dis pikshur.

an speekin uv reflekshunz ... dis mite be a good time to reflekt on mi resint behavior.

yes, i admit i hav been doin sum walkin-abowt ... but i think i'll stick arownd fer a bit. ware-az i wuzzen't respondin to mi mom before, i am now lettin her see me ... an i am lettin her pick me up an bring me in da howse wen i am disturbed by dat kitten joba. further ... i hav been comin in da howse by way uv da roof an also by way uv da frunt door (dat kitten stayz in da back.)

so brudderz an sistahz ... i am sorree dat i put u thru sumwut uvva disturbin time ... but i am back ... an i think i will stay rite heer ware i belong. (until mi next walk abowt.)

da end.

spring trainin

u know brudderz an sistahz ...

wid all da eksitement uv me comin home ...

an valentine'z day an stuff ...

da fact dat pitcherz an catcherz hav reported to da funshine state haz bin sumwut overlooked.

spring trainin!!!!

woo hoo!

an pleez ... no commentz abowt a-rod. thank u.

"Noted extrovert Joba Chamberlain was already in midseason form, heading for the locker of the big man on campus and trying on CC Sabathia's size 56 pinstriped jersey"

da mos eksitin valentine

mi mom hadda secret valentine ...

she wuz so eksited!

lookit it.

dis pikshur mite be a little blurry ... mi mom'z hand musta been so shaky ...

it'zza pikshur uv owr grate an fabyoolus frend titus, hizself!!!!

an lookit dis ... dere wuzza gift fer yerz troolee. it'zza "fabulous las vegas showgulls catnip toy"

i'll say it wuz fabyoolus!

i wood giv dis toy 2 thumbz up (if i had 'em)

thankz to da gratest n.o.m.s i hav ever had ... an to hiz byootiful mom.

yer da best secret valentinez in da werld!
duhr ... i fergot to wish titus a happee birfday yesturday ... happee birfday to one fantastic frootbat!

a valentine return

i felt bad fer mi mom dat she mite havta selebrate vd widowt me ...

so i came home las nite.

i brot a box uv russell stover wid me, too.

(i ate sum uv da candy ... so i put a pink cookie in da box to make up fer it.)

i hadda late entry in skeezy'z vd contest.

altho it wuz late ... i hope dat u will reed it.

hartfelt.

i'm sorree i diden't make mi valentine fer u lilly lu ... yer alwayz mi valentine!

dis yeer ... i jus had to do wut i had to do.

da return uv da grate jeter harris hizself--2/13/2009

brudderz an sistahz ... i am home.
yes ... i did take a "walk-abowt" fer sum time ... but i came back tonite.
i wood show u a pikshur uv me wid da valentinez candy i brot fer mi mom ...
but, i am havin sum teknikul difficultiez again.
duhr.
so ... in honor uv da arrival uv pitcherz an catcherz fer spring trainin ...
pleez enjoy da pikshur uv me in mi yankee cap.
an pleez don't ask me abowt a-rod.
thank u.

stumped

wut da?

las nite mi mom went to da d-o-g show ... da big one at madison skware garden.

she took dis pikshur uvva boxer.

she wanted to show me dat her seet wuz da 4th row on da floor.

(she haz dis awesum camra ... an took dis pikshur wid her phone. duhr.)

dis iz da winner uv da d-o-g show.

STUMP!

stump?!

harharhar ... i'm laffin an laffin 'eh reeb!

he'zza geezer sussex spaniel.

verree nice ... but "ware iz da grate jh hizself" u mite be wunderin.

goodbye to mi byootiful frend

mi #51

scootie patootie

furever in mi hart.

wut laffin an laffin iz reedin fer hiz book groop.

dat'z rite brudderz an sistahz.

mi squillion, laffin an laffin iz reedin a grate book.

he an da wooden catz havva book groop.

it'z reelee intrestin wen dey get together.

now i'm laffin an laffin!

lookit dis.

dis plant haz it'z leef arownd mi neck.

jus sayin.

tuesday

oh mi d-o-g!

i diden't realize how angry i look.

wut in da werld cooda made me dis disturbed?